Chris Christie’s Baggage Handler Nominated For FBI Director

Posted By on June 7, 2017

Chris Christie just has too much baggage.

Chris Christie just has too much baggage.

When it comes to choosing the next FBI Director, President Donald Trump has had to fight against his baser instincts and cronyism. While the choices are numerous, most folks were expecting for the POTUS (Piece of Trash Ugly Senior) to go with Chris Christie. Christie, however, has been battling a monstrous plunge in his approval ratings, the bridge-gate scandal and a loss of self-control now that Krispy Kreme Doughnuts has been expanding all over New Jersey.

Considering all of this weight and baggage that Christie brings with him to any potential office, Donald Trump decided to do the next best thing and nominate his baggage handler.

Being responsible for all of the heavy baggage that Chris Christie has to travel with is not the same as actually being Chris Christie, so all of this bag and sack handling won’t taint him quite as much.

This baggage handler is responsible for fiddling with whatever is in Christie’s trunks, often palming a sack here or tossing a bag on his back to carry Christie’s load.

Considering how noxious Donald Trump has become to the average human being with any kind of rational capacity, it’s amazing to see just how low Chris Christie’s bank-ability has become. He’s become election and political poison, causing even the worst people in the USA to turn their backs on him. Could this be the boost he needed to turn his political career around?

Most likely not.

The rest of us didn’t like him before this, so now it’s just everyone agreeing that he’s a big piece of crap. It really doesn’t matter who’s carrying his bags, but if the President’s nomination holds, Christie is going to have to grapple and tug on his own bag from now on.

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