Climate Change Debunked By Republican Senator: “I Don’t Feel That Hot”

Posted By on August 20, 2016

This is the Earth. This is the Earth on drugs. Any questions?

This is the Earth. This is the Earth on drugs. Any questions?

While NASA believes that we may be experiencing the hottest year in recorded history, as their midyear climate analysis shows, Republican Senator Jim Inhofe has said that he can prove, without a shadow of a doubt, that climate change/global warming is a complete hoax.

“I don’t feel that hot. Do you? They said the ‘real feel’ temperature outside was 119 degrees. Well, the thermostat said it was 97. Now, I am sweating like a stuck pig, hooker in church during a gay wedding, but it still doesn’t feel that hot,” Inhofe asserted. “You just can’t go around telling people that it’s this hot, or that hot and then the thermostat tells me some other story. It’s 70 degrees in my bedroom. How is it that even possible if it’s the hottest the world has ever been? I don’t care that my A/C is on, that shouldn’t matter!”

We showed him NASA’s data, why air conditioning is one of the major culprits in climate change and how humans have contributed to the warming of the Earth but he still didn’t believe it.

“Nope. That’s silly. Look, if it was so much hotter than it ever was before, how would Louisiana be under water right now? Wouldn’t that dry up so fast? It’s one of the hottest places in the USA! Nope, they have more water than any one has ever seen, well, except Noah. He saw a lot more than that, I’m sure! I’ve been around on this planet for a long time and it’s not changed all that much. Sure, women can vote now and blacks can sit in the front of the bus, but that bus is cold all over, now. It doesn’t matter if they sit in the back or not because the A/C works in the whole damn thing! How could the whole bus be cold if the world was at it’s hottest? Do you see what I’m getting at? I mean, we still get snow in the winter and hot in the summer. That’s how it has always been. Until we stop getting all the snow and I can’t get my bedroom to 70 degrees, I’m not going to fall for this stupid hoax. Ya’ll just want to keep us from having access to oil and fossil fuels. You don’t like it when white people make money from black liquid. I see that now, but it ain’t gonna change. In fact, I might open up a coffee house just to spite you fools, and we won’t serve anything but hot coffee. None of that iced stuff. How’s that for global warming?”

Well, he has us convinced. How about you? Who needs NASA, science, Snopes or Jessica Fletcher when he obviously cracked this one wide open for the rest of us.

Liked it? Take a second to support us on Patreon!
%d bloggers like this: