DAPL Police To Celebrate Thanksgiving By Slaughtering Native Americans And Stealing Their Land

Posted By on November 23, 2016

Boy that turkey sure smells great, even though all we can smell right now is the coppery air of freshly spilled Native American blood

Boy that turkey sure smells great, even though all we can smell right now is the coppery air of freshly spilled Native American blood.

Get out your knives and forks, because it’s time to carve in! As tables are set around the United States for a peaceful, tranquil and dinner, Native Americans and DAPL protestors will be served a slice of pain, anguish, disgrace and possibly death. As Thanksgiving is often remembered as “that time the pilgrims sat down to eat with Native Americans before slaughtering them,” this Thanksgiving is likely to skip right past the dinner.

As history tends to repeat itself, the needs of some white folks will always outweigh the needs of some marginalized members of society. This is the way it always has been, and dammit, this is the way it will always be.

You can’t make America Great Again without repeating what we’ve done in the past, so maiming Native Americans, stealing their land and ruining their chance at a good dinner is sure to be the most appropriate way to handle things.

Does the United States really need the┬áDakota Access Pipeline? Oh, God no, not in the least. That’s why we want it so much! The more of something we don’t need, the better. Like, give me more stuffing. I know I already have some on my plate, but I need more, so gimme! The stuffing I already have looks great but the stuffing I don’t have yet is sure to be so much better, so I must have it!

Let’s not forget to be thankful for the protesters, without whom we would have no one to satiate the bloodthirsty appetites of those who wish to abuse their power and privilege. Sure, you’re fighting the good fight of the the right and righteous, but you’re also giving those DAPL Police a grand target for their rage, because that’s all they see you as, and not as people. Oh, and can you pass the gravy?

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