France Bans Burkinis In Case Terrorists Decide To Go On Holiday

Posted By on August 18, 2016

A group of women enjoy their time on a boat… even the Muslim woman is having fun. Isn’t that wild?

A group of women enjoy their time on a boat… even the Muslim woman is having fun. Isn’t that wild?

In a move that most people don’t even know how to respond to, five towns in France have banned the “burkini” which is a full-body bathing suit worn by some Muslim women when they go swimming. While many folks are defending the move, referencing their fears about Islamic extremists and terrorism, others are claiming that the ban is for the betterment of the women, so that they can overcome the tyranny of the patriarchal nature of their religion, that forces them to wear burkas.

While that sounds all nice and good, how about the lack of freedom that comes from being worried about your beach body? Do you want to wear a one piece or a two piece? Is a thong the right way to go or a regular, old fashioned bikini bottom? These choices are tough and are going to get you talked about from everyone that sees you. I mean, if you think you’d be worried about someone’s freedom because they are wearing a burkini, imagine the lack of freedom possessed by those who are terrified of people seeing their love handles, spider veins, thunder thighs, cellulite, stretch marks, body hair, c-section scars, burn marks, track marks, back acne, vitiligo, psoriasis, or really bad tattoos of their exe’s names. Well, that burkini is starting to sound pretty good right about now, isn’t it?

Maybe they’re more afraid of the women who aren’t Muslim putting on more clothes at the beach? Maybe they are terrified that they don’t get to ogle all the ladies they want to. Heck, so many women go topless at European beaches, what would they do? No more boobs at the beach? No way, Jose! That’s a terrible idea for the men in power. Or, maybe it has nothing to do with that at all.

Maybe they are just bigoted and want to keep all Muslims away from the beach because they just simply don’t like them. This ban won’t affect any extremist islamic terrorists, unless they really are afraid of the Islamic State going on holiday, building sand castles and, oh yeah, letting their women go out to the beach with them. If you hadn’t notice, the majority of the people you see in photos and videos of ISIS are men. Why aren’t they banning anything the men might wear? Yeah, because it just comes down to crapping all over women again, and even worse than that, under the guise of it being for their betterment.

If they are really, genuinely afraid of terrorists on vacation, well, what makes them think they would want to go to France, then? Why go there when they can go to Hedonism, Fire Island, Cambodia, Ecuador or a myriad of other places that have just as much to offer.

No, it’s just really that they don’t like Muslims, don’t want them to have fun and maybe are afraid that they make sand castles that look better.

Well, that’s okay, ladies, bring your burkini’s over to our beaches and lakes in the grand old USA. We’ll have no problem letting you swim in our mostly okay waters. You might have a hard time getting into the country, of course, but once you’re here your burkinis are safe, sound and all under your control. This is America, and while we treat those different from us like crap, call them names, subjugate them, burn crosses on their lawns, steal their lunch money, point and laugh at them and sometimes insult their pets, you’re allowed to worship whoever you want and wear whatever you want to the beach… as long as you’re ready to be judged for it. At least you won’t get kicked off the beach. You’ll just be humiliated!

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