Gary Johnson’s SuperPAC Spends $1M On TV Ads, Forgets That People Don’t Watch Live TV

Posted By on August 27, 2016

Gary Johnson Invites You To Feel His Johnson

Gary Johnson Invites You To Feel His Johnson

If there is one thing we know about Libertarians, it’s that they are supposed to be very frugal about spending. Gary Johnson wants to get rid of federal funding for stem cell research. Gary Johnson wants to get rid of the Department of Education. Gary Johnson wants to end foreign aid. Gary Johnson’s SuperPAC, however, has no problem throwing down $1 Million on ads that people will either never see or will fast-forward through on their DVR.

You want to buy ad space on websites, Gary! Maybe adspace on Hulu where you can’t skip them, even though you pay for Hulu. That’s what you need, a captive audience. But the bigger problem for me, however, is that if you can’t think that far about how to spend your money wisely, then how can you do it for the United States? I rather have our taxes spent on things we can use than on antiquated for the same monetary value.

I’d rather we spend $1 Million on housing and feeding the homeless, maybe getting them ready for a workforce initiative than the same amount of money being put into providing every child with an abacus. That’s sort of what this feels like, by comparison. Why give a kid $500 dollars worth of books when you can give them a laptop or tablet with access to all the info in the world? I mean, yeah, they might see some porn, but there is value in learning about that, too!

TV ads are the biggest waste of money, unless you plan on buying ad space during major events that everyone tunes into, like the SuperBowl. Well, there isn’t going to be one of those between now and November so there goes that idea. How about awards shows? Nah, no one really cares about that either. Adspace on TV is relegated to scheduled bathroom breaks. People are more likely to have their Johnson in their hand, finishing a good pee, while Johnson’s ad is playing on TV. They won’t see it.

How about this, Gary? Give us $1 Million and we will force all the ads on the website to be Gary Johnson campaign ads, even when we don’t believe in you and even after the election you won’t win. It will be just as sound of a purchase choice!

Liked it? Take a second to support us on Patreon!
%d bloggers like this: