Complete Moron Impresses Millions By Reading Out Loud For An Hour

King Moron stands in front of bufooons and wows them.

We are nothing, if not a nation of easily impressed people, but a new low was set as the standard last night, during President Donald Trump’s...

Donald Trump Won’t Go To The White House Correspondents’ Dinner Because He’s A Punk-Ass Bitch

No hope in this great, white dope.

One might remember that now-President Donald Trump was once verbally sterilized by Seth Meyers and President Barack Obama back in 2011 at the White House Correspondent’s...

First Contact From TRAPPIST-1 Aliens Beg Us To Stay Away

The first new life in space is smarter than we are.

NASA announced yesterday that they have discovered a new solar system that has 7 planets, of which at least 3 are more than likely capable of...

Hedorah The Smog Monster Confirmed To Head EPA

Hedorah The Smog Monster

The Senate confirmed Hedorah, The Smog Monster on Friday to run the Environmental Protection Agency, putting a seasoned opponent of nature, cleanliness and renewable resources at the...

Donald Trump Prepares To Celebrate Presidents Day, Not Knowing It Isn’t For Him

Who knew that Lincoln and Washington were so adorable?

While President Donald J. Trump tries to avoid the possibility of he and his cabinet being executed for treason, he’s keeping his mind off of such...

Kellyanne Conway Confirmed To Be From Alternate Universe Constantly Stuck In Opposite Day

Kellyanne Conway takes a walk in the park.

Kellyanne Conway has said a lot of questionable things, including flat out lies and made up events she calls “alternative facts,” but what if they really...

US Senate Votes In Brick Of Cheese As Education Secretary

This is government cheese at its very worst.

After weeks of intense debate, speculation, anger, frustration and confusion, the United States Senate has finally voted on the acceptance of a thoughtless, cold, uncaring brick...

DAPL Police To Celebrate Thanksgiving By Slaughtering Native Americans And Stealing Their Land

Boy that turkey sure smells great, even though all we can smell right now is the coppery air of freshly spilled Native American blood

Get out your knives and forks, because it’s time to carve in! As tables are set around the United States for a peaceful, tranquil and dinner,...

Silent Majority Asked To Go Back To Being Silent After Having Nothing Good To Say

Alaskan hunters in a cabin, being quiet. Don't you miss that?

As political pundits have been weighing in on the who’s, what’s, how’s and why’s when it comes to the election of Donald Trump as our next...

France To Shut Down All Coal Power Plants By 2023 To Prove That Americans Are Bigger Assholes

Whether this is a coal refinery, oil refinery or Wheat Thins factory, we don't know. We just know it looks bad.

France made a grand announcement at UN’s annual climate change meeting this year, showing everyone else up as they patted themselves on the back. Proving to...