Republican Party Feared Dead At 162 Years Old

Posted By on October 18, 2016

It puts the Trunk in Hoof and Trunk. Wait, you just got that now? Finally? Jesus.

It puts the Trunk in Hoof and Trunk. Wait, you just got that now? Finally? Jesus.

At the ripe, old age of 162 years, it is feared that the Republican Party has passed away in it’s sleep. After a post-depression identity crisis, the Republican Party looked to be having a momentary lapse of judgment, but it looks now like that was more like an aneurysm with some very serious and grave consequences.

Much like the Great Barrier Reef, Prince, David Bowie and so many beloved others that have come to meet the reaper in 2016, the Republican Party, too, looks to have had one last stand and let out it’s last breath.

We have not had any confirmation from those close to the potentially deceased, but just about every news outlet is reporting the demise of one of our national pillars. Even those flying under the banner of the GOP aren’t being acknowledged by many of those that were once part of it, anymore. It looks like some of the RINO (Republicans In Name Only) camp are trying to resuscitate it, but so far there has been no response or report of vital signs.

We expect that after family is notified we may finally get an official response to the media, a full time and cause of death as well as when and where services can be expected. Until then, let’s remember the good things that the Republican Party have brought us, like Abraham Lincoln, the Civil Rights Act, The 19th Amendment and the time that some guy threw a shoe at George W. Bush’s head.

Oh, the memories.

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