Silent Majority Asked To Go Back To Being Silent After Having Nothing Good To Say

Posted By on November 19, 2016

Alaskan hunters in a cabin, being quiet. Don't you miss that?

Alaskan hunters in a cabin, being quiet. Don’t you miss that?

As political pundits have been weighing in on the who’s, what’s, how’s and why’s when it comes to the election of Donald Trump as our next President, many people keep pointing towards the “silent majority” of uneducated white, male voters that came out in droves to select their ruler of choice.

As it stands, many have said we should pay more attention to them. See what they have to say. Heed their words, needs, wants and possibly learn to nurture the feelings they have. Some have thought that this outreach could be good for all parties involved and maybe bridge the widening gap that the United States seems to have between its differing political spectrums and racial barriers.

Well, it turns out the silent majority has a very strong, loud and annoying voice. They were never really silent, they just kind of went a way for a bit and had their own reality shows, bad country music and crappy channels that we weren’t watching. They were actually pretty damn loud, we just were ignoring them and for good reason.

Addressing many non-whites as “ya’ll colored people” and claiming insane things like “pizza isn’t that good,” it was very obvious to us that we needed things to change and go back to how they had been for a long time. The volume on the formerly silent, now really loud and annoying majority had to be drastically lowered or put on permanent mute.

From staging demonstrations, riots and Twitter hashtags to support Trump, boycott progressive business or to just buy lots of Starbucks with Trump’s name on it, (the worst punishment of a company, ever) it became evident that they needed to shut up. They have had nothing good to say. There were no words of wisdom, arcane nuggets of of joy, wise proverbs or even some good off color jokes. They’re not really funny. The lack of intelligence makes it hard for them to craft anything clever, and that’s probably the biggest disappointment.  I mean, sure, Donald Trump is hot human garbage, but at least he was good for a tons of laughs before it got too real and serious and we realized he was actually in danger of running this God forsaken country.

So, stop trying to plead with them. Don’t placate them and certainly don’t try to reason with them. Ignore them. Block them. Put vodka in their drinks until they pass out. Do whatever you have to do to keep them quiet because we’re all trying to think here and do stuff and they’re carrying on like that annoying guy that’s trying to talk to you on the bus while you clearly have your headphones on.

We’ve asked them to go away, countless times, but they are still here. So, really, we’re going to have to go back to ignoring them and hope they just go away, bored.

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