Posts Tagged: election

Mike Pence Is A Replicant Android

Do Androids dream of 4 year term limits, the vice presidency and emotionless rhetoric?

Thanks to Mike Pence’s very robotic and emotionless response to a 12 year old girl asking about Donald Trump’s horrible words about women’s looks, we can...

Republican Party Feared Dead At 162 Years Old

It puts the Trunk in Hoof and Trunk. Wait, you just got that now? Finally? Jesus.

At the ripe, old age of 162 years, it is feared that the Republican Party has passed away in it’s sleep. After a post-depression identity crisis,...

Government Asks George R.R. Martin To Rewrite Election So That Everyone Dies

The government wants a do-over, and one filled with lots of good deaths.

Just about everyone is tired, fed-up and done with this entire election cycle. It’s been called a joke, appalling, deplorable, embarrassing and a farce. Most people...

Media To Continue Releasing Maps Of Ridiculous Voter Scenarios

America isn't red white and blue, but the people sure were when we were killing all the Native Americans.

If you’ve been paying attention to the last few days worth of news, you’ll notice that many political outlets have been release hypothetical voting maps based...

This Article Is Not About Donald Trump

So, some other things are happening that you're paying attention to while the house is burning.

Ah, yes, the circus that is the Presidential Election of 2016. I’ve got some good news for you: we’re not really going to talk much about...

Pussies Grab Back As Cats React To The Don At The 2nd 2016 Debate

These poor pussies have been grabbed without permission for far to long and they are just tired of it. Thankfully, Susan B. Anarchy, our new contributor,...

Rats Fleeing Sinking Ship Offended By Comparison To GOP

Sink or swim? These rats are fleeing, fully clothed and on a boat, with dignity.

It really does take a lot to offend the sensibilities of a rat, but it has happened, and this time you can blame the media. Yes,...

Man Mistakenly Walks Into VP Debate Instead of Fart Contest, Doesn’t Notice For 30 Minutes

If you've seen one university auditorium, you've basically seen them all.

Farmville, VA local, Edward Bernstain, somehow managed to spend a half hour at the vice-presidential debate at Longwood University, completely by mistake. He was baffled, especially...

Libertarians Are Forgetting Who Gary Johnson Is

Just like most Libertarians, the porcupine they chose as their logo is prickly and generally prefers to stay alone.

As it holds true for their leadership, it is not surprising to find out that Libertarians, just like Gary Johnson, can’t remember fairly important things. First...

Celebrities Comment On First Debate But We Ignore It

Washington DC - Where dreams of crushing other people's dreams come true.

As both Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump rear up to take charge and move head on through the first presidential debate of this election, everyone who’s...