Trump’s Secret Soviet Past Tied To Gorky Park

Posted By on November 29, 2017

Another brick in the Russian wall

Another brick in the Russian wall

As we are all eagerly awaiting the results of the many secret probes happening in Washington DC, the anticipation on word about the definite collusion of Donald Trump’s campaign with Russian intelligence is highest on our priority list. We’ve been digging deep while these probes are happening, and it looks like we may have found a few bombshells of our own.

Tied to Donald Trump’s Twitter account were a few of his apps. One of those apps, Spotify, had recently been removed, however, nothing on the internet goes away for good. Our savvy tech team took it upon themselves to gain access to his favorite playlists, and sure enough, we found something.

Amidst all the creepy songs like, Maurice Chevalier’s “Thank Heaven For Little Girls”, The Mills Brothers “Daddy’s Little Girl” and The Police’s “Don’t Stand So Close To Me” were the entire Gorky Park discography. If you’re not familiar with Gorky Park, they are a Russian glam band that hit it big in the USA with their first major release, featuring the single “Bang.”

With lyrics like “Give it in or give it out, We can blow it up!” and “Bang bang, say ‘da da da!’ Nothin’ less, I want to hear a yes!” it’s clear to see why he was obsessed with this band and Russia in general. The idea of explosions, blowing things up and not taking no for an answer all appeal to a man who has been threatening to nuke our “enemies” and likes to brag about grabbing the genitals of women who are not interested or available to him. Considering his obvious past as a sexual harassment trial waiting to happen, a song that showcases his rapey ways makes perfect sense in his library. The lack of an extensive vocabulary also appeals to Trump, as he generally can’t handle more than a few words in a short period of time.

Considering his obvious attraction to women from Slavic countries and Eastern Europe in general, it’s no surprise that his fandom of all things Russian would extend itself to USSR relics, bad hair and glam metal bands from that period and the comedy of Yakov Smirnoff.

We’re hoping to dig deeper and find more clues into his past, but we need to get beyond the 700+ tracks of Kids Bop that are impeding our progress on his playlists.

 

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