WikiLeaks Clinton Docs Less Likely To Release By November Than “Half-Life 3”

Posted By on October 4, 2016

Some valves leak information. Others produce video games. The only ones delivering lately just leak water.

Some valves leak information. Others produce video games. The only ones delivering lately just leak water.

There are a few different ways to disappoint the internet. One of them is not having the latest nude shots of their favorite celebrities readily available. Another is to promise the delivery of something and then postpone it. Yet another is to never promise anything they want, at all. Somehow, all of these things are relevant in the current election cycle. Well…. no one is really asking for naked pictures of Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton, but we did get those racy shots of Melania.

Anyhow, last night, WikiLeaks was set to deliver a bombshell to the Hillary Clinton campaign in the form of a huge document leak. Instead what was delivered was a large infomercial for WikiLeaks and a lot of attempts to sell you Julian Assange’s books. Sounds like he’s a profiteer, now, doesn’t it? What happened to the freedom of information that they promised? Has all of that gone by the wayside? Well, it looks like they want to make us wait for this supposed bombshell till November, which is a big disappointment.

Similarly, the world has been waiting on news about Half-Life 3. Are we ever going to see this game from Valve Software? Are both these docs and HL3 just another notch on the belt that holds up our waiting for vaporware? Are these Hilary Clinton documents going to come to us in a timely manner, or will it already be too late? What is the relation? Not a lot, but I really like playing around with the imagery of Valve’s logo and the concept of a leaky faucet with WikiLeaks. I’m nothing if not a selfish lover.

Trump supporters everywhere are incredibly disappointed. Not only did they not get what was promised to them, but they also can’t bust open crates as Gordon Freeman. Sure, they could go back and play the Portal games and Half-Life 1 and 2, but that’s just not the same. They want to be able to justify their ignorance, hatred, racism and xenophobia with documented evidence while they finally close out the story of Black Mesa. I mean, don’t we all?

We’re trying not to hold our breath on this one, but we fully believe that we won’t get any of what we want by the end of the year. I will say this, though. The chances of me fighting off headcrabs and Overwatch soldiers seems more likely to me than Assange and WikiLeaks delivering anything that is going to derail Clinton becoming our next President of the USA. I’m not sure which I’m more disappointed in, but at least in both cases I’d be playing out an end of the world scenario. Only,one of them would be fictional. Guess which one?

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